What’s sweeter than heartwarming friendship? You know that person you can meet randomly at a coffee shop, pour your heart out, and receive a warm and understanding hug. Then you’ll have a mom to give you encouragement and helpful advice when you’re in the trenches of a really frustrating and difficult season of motherhood.
Ah, sweet friendship. We all need them, right? Yes, we need to be these friends too. But maybe questions are filling your mind. Questions like: What kind of friends should I really be looking for? Do I have different types of friends in different seasons of my life? Does this mean I have to change too?
Well, my dear friend, may I call you that? I know we haven’t officially met yet, but I have a strong feeling that if I met you over a hot cup of coffee, we would hit it off. That’s because if you’re here (at iBelieve), you’re my kind of girl. With all that out of the way, let’s be honest for a minute, shall we?
I’ve had all of the friendship issues mentioned above and more. This is because relationships with other women are not always so rigid. Friendships can be tricky and not easy to navigate. Our emotions and hearts are invested and we get to spend a lot of time with these girls. Sadly, sometimes injuries happen.
While people will move, some will change, and some won’t be right for you (and that’s okay), some will cause friction, cause confusion, and may make you question whether they are the “right” friend.
So, how do we find and maintain true friends, what the Bible calls “sweet friendships” (Proverbs 27:9)? You know that this lovely friend will not only “get you” but will be there to love you, encourage you, and hold you accountable. Not only that, she leads you to grow in faith and love the Lord with all your heart!
Sister, no matter what season you are in, whether you are a single girl or a mom of college kids, there are three types of friends you need (and need), starting now!
1. Mentors and helpful friends
Think of the woman in Titus 2. Every woman needs an older (wiser), faith-filled woman to lean on. Someone who has “been there and done that” and is able to share her pearls of wisdom while encouraging you to become the woman, wife, and mother God has called you to be.
In Titus 2, 1 Timothy, and 2 Timothy, Paul instructs church leaders on how to “disciple” groups of young men and women. His message still rings loud and clear today as it implies that older, God-fearing women in the church need to be role models for the next generation of women.
These lovely ladies can provide valuable insights into how to remain faithful, sober, and steadfast in the midst of trials while demonstrating dignity, self-respect, and godly obedience in all aspects of life.
Who wouldn’t want a friend like this? Better yet, who wouldn’t want to be such a friend to someone else?
As faithful women, we are all called to seek wise counsel in the form of mentors and to be mentors, especially within the body of Christ (1 Timothy 4:12, 2 Timothy 2:2). As we seek to lift one another up in Christ to shape the mindset of the next generation, we have the power to gain some of the sweetest friendships we know while becoming more and more like Christ.
2. Memory Maker Friends
Oh what a sweet memory maker friend. As the name suggests, memory-making friends are people you meet and “create memories.” This is your companion, right by your side during your busiest seasons, cheering you on and seeming to be trying to motivate yourself (1 Thessalonians 5:11). You can laugh, cry, scream, vent and overshare with this girl. She gets it because she lives it too!
Text this girl and meet in the park in five minutes and she’ll be there. Chat on the phone in the closet during nap time and she listens. She supports you and you support her. You can go out to the movies and giggle at the cheesy plot, or go out for a weekend and have the time of your life. This friend is really amazing!
In fact, God created us to be relational people and to be able to spend this life together in a relational and special way. He has created friendships for us to communicate and fellowship, so we receive tenfold the benefits when we are with these dear friends (1 John 1:7, Acts 2:42). Praise God for this!
That is, these friendships must be based on mutual trust and respect, otherwise tensions will ensue and negative emotions will break down with devastating consequences (Proverbs 16:28). While these friends may come in and out of our lives for various reasons, we must cherish the time we spend with these dear sisters. All in all, be the friend you seek and treat these beauties like true gems (Luke 6:31)!
3. Meaningful friends
This is a well-intentioned friend who always tells the story so sweetly. This friend will see your blind spots and make sure to let you know about them. However, behind her words was a heart of pure gold as she strived to serve and love others through her role as a servant.
New little packages need to eat when they arrive and she can accommodate your needs. There was a prayer request and she was on it! She will basically drop whatever she is doing and serve you generously with an open mind and a soft heart. She was there, always reliable, and her love for Jesus was evident.
A meaningful friend uses her own gifts and talents to encourage you while supporting and pointing out your beautiful gifts, talents, and qualities. In other words, she wants you to be the best version of yourself and cares deeply about you. It’s so rare these days!
At the same time, the most beautiful thing about this friend is her ability to develop relationships based on compassion. She’s quick to be vulnerable, invest time and energy, and be genuine. This friend is loving and intentional inside and out, often befriending the lonely and lost.
So, what types of friends do you have in your life? Better yet, what type of friend are you?
Pray for your friendship
Lord, thank you for the gift of friendship. Help us to look to you and model for us how to be a good friend as you lay out for us in your Word. We want to be a trustworthy friend and show respect and honor to our sisters in Christ. Let’s find wise friends to learn and grow from, while sharing wisdom when prompted. Give us dear friends with whom we can make memories and help us become meaningful friends who choose to see the needs of others and serve them with compassion. We are so grateful that You created us for fellowship so that we could come to You first with a raw and authentic heart and share our needs. Please give us a heart to be the friends you want and need us to be. Amen.
Image credit: ©GettyImages/Lyndon Stratford
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