If we read and heed this sentence every time we interact with money, our relationship with our spouse will likely be much better. We might have a lot less arguments. How much less stressed we would be.
Married couples are said to argue the most about sex, raising children and money. But money doesn’t have to be one of the triggers for tension in your relationship. After all, it’s just money.
My husband and I have been convinced—and have been for our entire married life—that our financial stability depends on how much we trust God, not how much money we make.
It’s really not about money. If it were, God would send rain to solve our problems. Churches across the country are deeply in debt. Personally, Christians are deeply in debt. Department staff struggle to make ends meet. But God has it all. He has no shortage of resources. So if He doesn’t provide what we think we need at the time, then we either don’t need it or something else is going on. For us, it’s always a question of trust. It’s a question of where our hearts are. It’s a matter of character development. It is a matter of faith and teaching us to pray.
Here are three steps you and your spouse can take to start trusting God for your finances and reduce stress and tension between the two of you:
1. Obey.
God wants us to give back to Him what is originally His. The reality is that everything we have rightfully belongs to God, but we choose to follow the command set forth in the Old Testament when God commanded the Israelites to give a tenth of their creation to God. We tithe—literally, give one-tenth of our money to God—as a matter of discipline and a guideline for a good starting point, and then add as much as we can. Why? Because as far as we are concerned, tithing means a huge financial burden. Because in our case, tithing is trust. Time and time again we find that when we give to Him first and foremost, He is faithful to provide for all our needs. God has a way of multiplying what we give Him and giving it back to us at the end of the month when we fall short because we trust Him to give Him the tenth we thought we couldn’t give but gave anyway . We have seen that this is how God blesses those who glorify Him with what He has given them.
2. Be responsible.
God wants us to be good stewards of everything we have—our material possessions, as well as our money. The first way we do this is by acknowledging that everything we have was given to us by God and therefore belongs to Him. We are simply stewards of the money He has entrusted to us. We find that this helps us keep money in perspective, keeps us humble, and prevents us from living beyond our means or spending our money on things God disapproves of.
Being good stewards means we follow the guidelines set forth in God’s Word—not to go into debt, not to live beyond our means, and not to do business with people we cannot trust. Most likely, there isn’t a couple in the world who hasn’t learned some of these rules the hard way. We have also encountered difficult situations. But God does not seek perfection, nor does He expect us to be financial investment experts. He is looking for obedient and teachable hearts. When you acknowledge that everything you have is His, it will help you remember that major purchases and investments should be a matter of prayer. After all, you need to consult the owner to find out how he wants you to manage his money!
3. Expect with joy.
The Bible says that if we, as human beings with limited resources, know how to give good gifts to our children, how much better does God know how to give good gifts to the people He loves? (Matthew 7:9-11; James 1:17). We have had an amazing time in our marriage and have seen God help us financially in incredible ways. In fact, every time He does this, we write it on a little piece of paper and put it in a jar and at the end of the year we look back on these blessings and are reminded of God’s faithfulness.
Money doesn’t have to be a stress factor between you and your spouse. Instead, make it an adventure of faith.
Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and the author of more than a dozen books, including When a Woman Walks Alone (more than 120,000 copies sold), When a Woman Inspires Her Husband,” and her latest, “When God Sees Your Tears.” Cindi and her husband, former pastor Hugh, co-authored the book “When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to Build a Stronger Connection,” on which this article is based. For more information about Cindi’s ministry, or to get free articles to strengthen your soul, marriage, or parenting, visit her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com or connect with her on Facebook.
release date: August 12, 2015
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/bernardbodo