I guess you don’t need a dictionary definition of anger. But if you do need to be angry, anger is defined as “an intense feeling of annoyance, dissatisfaction, or hostility.” The Bible talks a lot about anger. It talks about anger.
Anger is more of a fixed personality trait. Anger is more of an intense emotional state. Robert Jones defines it as “our overall positive response to negative moral judgments about perceived evil.”[1] Anger is a biological response to a perceived threat or inappropriate behavior. This is our body’s way of preparing to protect itself.
In this case, it’s a bit like the lights on your car’s dashboard. These lights are reacting to what’s going on under the hood. Anger is a response to perceived injustice. Our anger lights up when we feel “negative moral judgments about perceived evil.” That’s why we might say things like, “You make me angry.” That’s how it feels. But the reality is that we allow ourselves to get angry – it’s our body’s response to perceived illness. You did this and I responded with this sentiment.
When Ephesians 4:26 discusses anger, it does not say, “It is good for you to be angry.” Rather, it acknowledges that we have anger. When this strong emotion enters our bodies, we are told not to let it lead us into sin. When we are told not to let the sun set in anger, God is telling us that we need to see the truth behind it. Don’t let those dashboard lights flash and beep constantly. deal with it.
Sometimes our anger is the right response. But many times, our dashboard lights set the wrong standard. They beep when they shouldn’t. We tend to center ourselves, and perceived evil is not really evil; rather, it is a slight against ourselves. In many situations, God’s words to Jonah are appropriate: “Is it good for you to be angry?”
You’re angry, but should you be? This is certainly the case when we talk about marriage. There will be plenty of opportunities to get angry. But should there be? Should we be angry?
There is a thing called righteous anger. God may be angry. In fact, sometimes anything other than anger is a sinful reaction.Something about us should and must angry. But I think these are rare. Most of the time, our anger is not righteous at all. True righteous wrath is centered on the heart of God. Here are three situations where anger in a marriage is the appropriate response.
[1] Robert Jones, Eradicating Anger, p. 15
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