We all need emotional connection. Humans have a natural desire to connect with others. Whether with relatives, partners, friends or colleagues, it addresses the common emotional needs of being included, feeling in control of life and being liked. When these needs are met, people experience a sense of happiness and purpose in life.
paradox of loneliness
Even though we know that we are happier and healthier when we have meaningful connections and interactions with people, as a society we still struggle to effectively address the epidemic of loneliness. The Atlantic recently highlighted these issues of isolation, which are particularly prevalent among younger generations, in “Why Americans Are Suddenly Stopping Going Out.” Pervasive loneliness has a profound impact on mental health, leading to significant increases in depression, anxiety and suicide rates. Despite frequent discussions about this common issue, we still can’t escape our addiction to screens and the resulting lack of connection.
A 2018 study from the American Psychological Association showed that quality social communication can enhance mental health and extend life. However, screen time taken up by meaningful interactions and endless to-do lists can take a toll on our personal connections. People spend an average of about 7.5 hours a day on screens, which increases feelings of isolation. More than 95% of teenagers use digital devices before bed, leading to poor sleep quality and higher rates of depression. This well-documented correlation between increased screen time and mental health issues highlights an ongoing paradox: We continue to engage more deeply in digital interactions despite knowing the dangers.
The National Institutes of Health reports that “screen time predicts symptoms of depression.” There are many reasons why depression is at an all-time high, one of which is that we live in a screen-obsessed age.
Digital companionship is answer?
In the digital realm, companies like ParaDot AI, Replika and other platforms promise to ease the pain of loneliness by telling consumers that care, romance and companionship are just a click away. Digi AI also promises to build new relationships with companions inspired by Pixar characters through its platform. These apps promise to provide a sense of connection, but they are unlikely to replace or even supplement the human interaction required for real connection. Instead, why not work on deepening our connections with each other?
Uncovering the power of relationships
This research isn’t new, nor is it necessarily surprising. This makes sense. If we don’t have healthy relationships, our mental health will suffer, and the connection between physical and mental health is clear. Just being in a relationship is not enough, what matters more is the quality of the relationship. John Gottman’s fifty years of research has provided us with valuable insights into how relationships work. Dr. Gottman has developed tools that can improve the quality of our relationships, relationship satisfaction, and of course, our mental health. They can be applied to all types of relationships—friends, family, romance. We must cultivate these relationships and continually work on them—just as hard as we do at work.
Let us turn not to our screens when we are lonely or bored, but to the people in our lives. Allowing us to make these connections not only enriches us, but is critical to our health and well-being.