Breaking relationship trauma patterns

Today I read two articles in a row for clients who are obsessed with long-ago relationships. They both want to know why the relationship ended and what would have happened if things had gone differently.

Looking back, there have been many similar appeals recently. I have even had clients who have had vivid dreams and nightmares about a specific ex-lover, lost friend, or estranged family member.

In all situations, I have found that spirit always provides the same guidance. These disturbing thoughts and obsessions are caused by a lack of closure and unresolved trauma. “Spirit” also demonstrates the growing epidemic of loneliness in the world. Because of this, more and more people are immersed in old feelings and regrets.

This has been happening to me lately, my mind has been popping up more and more with people from my past that I haven’t thought about or seen in years. It can be surprising and disturbing to have a random memory like this pop up. Spirituality gave me the exact same wake-up call. These memories reveal the need for forgiveness and healing. It is essentially a form of delayed grief and instead we should have happy and fond memories of the person from our past.

I find it helpful to remember that they were just like me, just doing the best they could with what they knew and had at the time. I also came to realize when someone shows signs of being unkind or aggressive that it is the result of their own hurt, loss, or disappointment.

Unless the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change, nothing will happen~ Arthur Burt

Karma of Forgiveness

The Holy Spirit says that as our planet is undergoing a vibrational shift that we are all experiencing in one way or another at this time, these random and sometimes unpleasant reminders to others will occur more frequently. They serve as reminders that we must not only release and forgive those who have hurt or disappointed us, but also very importantly, release any associated trauma.

At this point in human evolution, karma requires the acknowledgment and release of repressed trauma so that we can continue with this ascension process rather than holding on to trauma, which over time only becomes another failure of what we have experienced. Karmic lessons. Might have to repeat!

The emergence of memories and emotions about past relationships (even those from long ago) is a means for us to engage in self-reflection and self-examination and, if necessary, work to release the energetic attachment to them. The best part about doing this energy release and healing work is that you don’t have to contact or see them in person again. Forgiveness is truly a gift we give ourselves. We don’t need other people’s participation or approval. However, if circumstances warrant, it is always much better to make peace in person.

We need to understand that forgiveness is a process and does not mean condoning these behaviors or minimizing the impact of trauma. This is about releasing emotional baggage. Think of forgiveness as a gift to yourself rather than a favor to the person who caused the trauma or disappointment.

forgiveness support

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by past relationship trauma and don’t know how to deal with it, you may want to seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a licensed therapist or counselor, can provide you with the guidance and support you need to deal with trauma and its effects.

It’s also important to develop spiritual routines that support your healing and forgiveness process. Without spiritual support and faith in something greater than yourself, healing and forgiveness are harder to achieve. Energetic healing practices such as cord cutting, visualization, shadow work and chakra balancing can be transformative, while mindfulness exercises, prayer and meditation will help you stay in the present moment, cultivating a sense of calm grounding and inner peace. If you find it challenging to adopt some of these practices on your own, consider seeking the guidance of a psychic, energy healer, or spiritual counselor to help you along the way.

By doing the necessary work to sever old energy cords and seek acceptance and forgiveness, we immediately begin to improve our current and future relationships. In the case of many recurring patterns of relationship conflict or failure, these patterns are never repaired, so they recur.

“We must cultivate and maintain the ability to forgive. Those who lack the power of forgiveness also lack the power of love~ Martin Luther King Jr.

break the pattern

As for the recurring pattern, one story that always sticks in my mind is that of a young woman I met decades ago. She volunteers with street children in a poor area of ​​Johannesburg, South Africa. I was in awe of her hard work and dedication and told her what a great job I thought they were doing.

“We’ll do our best,” she replied. “While this is heartbreaking for us, we have learned to accept that many of the children we have found homes for will have escaped the well-meaning people who provided them with love and shelter. They will most likely return to the streets because that is All they know, and deep down, they feel like they don’t deserve anything more.”

These children have internalized that they deserve to be abused and rejected by society. Therefore, they act accordingly. They fail to understand that there might be a better or different way.

How many times have I heard clients say, “I feel like I married my father.” Or, “Why do I keep attracting partners who always bring me down or are abusive?”

Many people get stuck in recurring patterns because that’s all they know. They can’t see a better way or embrace new possibilities because they haven’t released what no longer serves them. Again, spirituality always suggests the need for self-awareness, empathy, trauma healing, and forgiveness in these situations. This is necessary to break the pattern and raise the vibration, which ultimately increases the likelihood of a vibration match being met. You can’t build a strong, safe new house on an old, damaged foundation.

Once we recognize toxic, recurring patterns, we admit there is a problem. This is already part of the victory, for only then can we truly begin the journey toward release, healing, and forgiveness. We must first surrender to the truth and accept that our happiness and contentment begin with ourselves, not others.

Change is scary, and we may have to cut ties with those who hold us back. Some life choices are difficult, but necessary. But we must make every effort to achieve our soul purpose, which often includes learning self-love. I have witnessed miracles when people finally find the courage to learn, let go, heal, and forgive.