As same-sex marriage becomes more common and socially accepted, the number of same-sex parents is also increasing. Personally, I interact with same-sex adoptive parents who also attend the same church as me. My son’s soccer team friends have two very kind moms. I have neighbors in my community who are same-sex parents of children. We can no longer assume that both men and women are involved when it comes to parenting just because children are involved.
As our society continues to change the rules regarding family formation, we must carefully consider how we as believers should respond. We know that God’s Word makes it clear that God’s best arrangement for marriage and family is for a man and a woman to come together. However, when talking about your loved ones, hard black and white lines won’t work. Furthermore, their children have no say in the families they are brought into and they certainly need all the love they can get because it takes a strong village for everyone to raise good children.
How do we hold fast to the truth of God’s Word and at the same time be representatives of God’s light and love?
It won’t be easy, that’s for sure!
The church is struggling
Currently, the Church is working with many believers to address the dramatic changes we are seeing in our culture regarding sexuality, gender identity, marriage, and more! Many in the church have veered to one extreme or the other on this issue. We are witnessing a large portion of the church choosing to abandon the historically consistent Christian view of marriage and begin to believe in boundaryless love.
This goes against what God teaches in the Bible. God’s love is full of boundaries. Obedience is part of the Christian life because we are broken creatures following a holy God. We need his guidance to live our best lives. God provides clear guidance on countless issues, not just sex, because God is personally invested in our well-being. He loves us as He gently leads us toward His truth, righteousness, and holiness.
Other parts of the church have used harsh and hurtful language on the issue. Their lack of understanding and compassion leaves many people struggling with same-sex attraction or gender identity feeling hurt and alone. They forget that God has and can use all kinds of broken and sinful people. He is the ultimate judge of our souls, not us! We can trust God to lead his people to repentance and freedom in his own time and way.
Every situation requires wisdom
As a culture and as a church, we have lost the ability to see the nuances of how God loves each of us, even though none of us can fully meet His holy standards. In today’s “cancel culture,” we tend to draw boundaries around things that seem wrong or that we don’t understand.
Jesus shows us a radical alternative to sin.
He asks who among us is sinless. Only they have the power to cast stones righteously! (John 8:7-11) Jesus is the only one with the authority to judge us, and he goes to those who are in sin and gives them the opportunity to follow him. They have a chance to escape a life of sin and pain!
Our job is to be Jesus to our lost friends. Encourage those who know God but continue to struggle with sin. We need to be faithful to the standard of living God has given us in the Bible. We must also ask God to help us how to love. When sin is present, wisdom is needed in every situation. We need God to show us how to walk with the ones we pray for and share truth with them in a loving way. Thankfully, James 1:5 tells us that whenever we need wisdom, God will give it to us.
As we seek wisdom on how to handle this situation, we can consider the following:
-If the couple are unbelievers, they are not held to the same biblical standards, so extra grace should be given.
-Will refusing to participate harm the relationship with this family?
-Will this decline diminish your ability to show them God’s love?
-Are there any other ways to express your love for your child-to-be besides attending a baby shower?
-What does God say to you about this situation and how to respond appropriately?
-Is this couple relevant enough to you to know that you believe in a historically consistent biblical view of marriage and sexuality? Does showing up communicate that you have given up your faith, or does it show them that you can love them this way because Jesus always loves them?
Thinking about these factors can help you determine how to balance grace and truth in this situation. Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to these questions. We need God’s leading Spirit to help us know what He is calling us to do in our relationships.
Baby showers are different than weddings
A baby shower is different from a wedding because every child is a gift from God. The purpose of this celebration is to joyfully support the arrival of new people whom God has special plans for Him. While we may understand that same-sex relationships are not God’s best, we are called to raise and love every child. Even if we don’t feel the need to attend a baby shower, we should find a way to love the family and their baby.
When a couple fostering in my community first placed, I brought them bags of stuff to help them care for their children. I sent a gift card to dinner and wrote words of encouragement for them and the children in their care. It’s not a baby shower, but it is a way to say you are not alone in this work of loving your children. Caring for children is hard work, no matter what your family looks like. When we don’t move forward alongside other families, it’s the children who suffer the consequences.
related:
8 things you should know about same-sex marriage
Should you attend a gay wedding?
How should I respond to my gay friends and family?
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Anchily
