This article touches on a recent UC Berkeley study on the relationship between sleep and relationship conflict, pointing to the importance of developing good self-care habits. It is one of the most important tools for maintaining a healthy relationship. Here are some tips from Dr. John Gottman on goal setting and stress management. The following content will help you find balance and create a healthier lifestyle for yourself and your relationship.
Goal Setting Tips
- Make your goals specific and measurable. Rather than telling your partner that you want to talk more, suggest a specific activity you can do together, whether it’s a walk after every dinner or a board game every Sunday afternoon.
- Think about the pros and cons of making healthy changes. If we stick to the example above, you can imagine that the advantage is the ability to feel closer and more relaxed, while the disadvantage might be planning around any caring responsibilities.
- Break down big goals into smaller goals. If you want to stay in shape, don’t overdo it. This will only increase your stress. You don’t want to stress yourself out or get hurt. Take it easy. Start with smaller increments.
- Request support. If you want to take care of yourself, remember those closest to you – those you can trust. If you want some encouragement, give them a call or video chat.
- Anticipate obstacles and develop backup plans. Don’t feel defeated if you realize that new self-care resolutions can be as fleeting as New Year’s resolutions. You are in control. Imagine the difficulties you may face in achieving your goals. For example, if running every morning is impractical, try to come up with a solution that you believe will work. Maybe start every Saturday morning and work your way up.
- Make a daily plan and track your progress. Always ask yourself the following questions: What is my intention today? (“I’m going for a run tonight” or “I won’t watch TV for a while”)
- Reward yourself for short-term and long-term success. Develop a way to congratulate yourself when you achieve goals big or small.
Couples set goals together
You can set these goals together and enjoy stress-free activities as a couple. Here are some more ideas for relaxing together. You probably know what you and your partner like best, so try some of these or make your own. In the process, you may learn more about each other, strengthening your connection.
- Watch your favorite shows together.
- Take a short trip nearby.
- Explore the beautiful park and watch the sunset.
- Find a to-go ice cream stand or food truck where you can enjoy delicious food outdoors.
These ideas can keep you and your relationship from feeling overwhelmed in your day-to-day life.
