There is a common misconception that all single men in their thirties and forties are immature. Although this is a common belief, it is not true.This may be true in some cases, but people shouldn’t say it dogmatically all Single men in their thirties and forties are immature. This statement has no basis in fact as it has no solid foundation.
Instead, people try to claim that single men in this age group are immature because they are not married yet. It is important to note that just because a person is not married does not mean they are immature. In the same way, just because a person is married does not mean that he is mature. It is incorrect to define a person’s maturity by whether he or she is married.
You need to see them as individuals and not judge them based on their marital status. You don’t know why they are still single in their thirties or forties. Maybe they have dedicated their lives to following Jesus but haven’t found anyone they truly love, or they have other priorities in their lives. Therefore, it is important to debunk the myth that all bachelors in their thirties and forties are immature.
Measuring maturity
It is not wise to measure a person’s maturity by his or her marital status. As mentioned before, being married or not is not a measure of a person’s maturity. If anything, singles in their thirties and forties may be more mature than you think. Many people think that bachelors are selfish and only care about themselves, but this is not the case. There are many reasons why single men choose to stay single.
Often, it is their maturity that helps them choose to remain unmarried. In the Christian community, there is a false belief that marriage is the ultimate goal or final form of happiness. This is not true because our goal as Christians is to help others come to know Christ and mature in our own walk with God. Not everyone gets married, but that doesn’t make them any less of a person.
If a bachelor chooses to remain unmarried, the apostle Paul actually says it is better (1 Corinthians 7:25-40). Sadly, many Christians twist God’s Word by condemning those who choose to remain single. There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying single, for men or women. If a Christian decides in his heart not to get married and chooses to spend his time focusing on God, it is a noble thing. Other Christians should never condemn someone who chooses not to get married. Even the word “bachelor” may be considered derogatory.
Reasons to remain unmarried
It’s also important to note that there are many reasons why a man may choose to remain unmarried, even into his thirties and forties. As mentioned earlier, this may be because he has chosen to devote his life to following Jesus, has not yet found Jesus, or has chosen to spend time bettering himself. While many people may view these things as selfish, they are not. Sadly, men are often viewed as “lazy,” “selfish,” or “immature” for not marrying, but these are not blanket statements that apply to all men.
Instead, it is important to focus on the individual and not pass judgment on them. You never know why a person chooses not to get married unless you really get to know them and they open up to you. Even if you personally think everyone should get married, that doesn’t mean everyone else thinks so too. In fact, it’s not even what God said.
In the Bible we do not see God promising marriage to all people. Marriage is a gift, but so is being single. Unfortunately, in Christian culture, people don’t tend to view singleness as a gift. Instead, they see it as a huge tragedy or something that should be avoided at all costs. This is not a healthy way to think, nor is it biblical. Whether a person is married or not, they can still live a life that glorifies God. A person does not have to be married to follow God, serve Him, or glorify Him in their actions.
It’s also possible that someone has stayed single or even gotten divorced because of a bad breakup in the past. They may feel unsafe opening up to someone again because of a bad relationship in the past. It could be that they are still in love with the person who ended their relationship, or they are trying to heal the wounds. Still, don’t judge someone’s maturity or morals based on their marital status. This is unwise and will only lead to the person being alienated from the community of believers.
don’t judge
The Lord clearly tells us not to judge others (Matthew 7:1). It is not our responsibility to judge others. Judgment is God’s responsibility. He will judge everyone according to His perfect rule. Rather than choosing to judge single men in their thirties and forties, we should encourage them to live their lives for the glory of God. Being single doesn’t mean you can’t live the abundant life Jesus died for (John 10:10).
If you have a habit of looking down on unmarried men, try changing that. Observe this person alone and see how he lives his life. Is he kind? Does he live to glorify God? Does he do his best to help others learn about Jesus? If you catch him doing all of these things, there’s no reason to think he’s bad or think he’s immature. Rather, he is simply a man who chooses to remain single.
Choosing to remain single is a personal decision. It doesn’t have to be approved by people. Whether a person is married or single, they can still live their lives to the glory of God. The Lord looks at our hearts (1 Samuel 16:7) – He does not look at our marital status. If you are a single man in your thirties or forties, know that God will work amazing things in your life and your singleness.
Often, single Christians can do the most for God because they worry about pleasing the Lord rather than pleasing their spouse (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). So there’s nothing immature about it. Living for God, dedicating all your time to the Lord, and helping others to know Him are very mature things. There is beauty in marriage, and there is beauty in being single.
Instead of trying to say one person is better or more mature, we need to look at married couples and single people equally. In any case, one person is not superior to another. As believers, we are to live in unity with one another, but we cannot do this if there are believers who condemn other believers because they choose not to get married or have not gotten married beyond a certain age. Unity is needed within the family of believers, otherwise there will only be chaos.
Image source: ©Getty Images/Andrey Maximenko
