Have you ever lent money to a friend and promised to repay it, only to have the debt go unpaid? Or maybe you sold an item and didn’t receive the money you were due? In the interests of justice we wish to keep the accounts. We want others to pay what they are owed.
My first job involved debt collection. Thankfully I don’t work for a filthy agency that harasses poor people who have no money. Instead, I worked for a company that sold products and called other businesses to remind them of overdue invoices. Many times, people appreciate the push and pay the bill. In these cases, the Company can continue to purchase products and services in a mutually beneficial business relationship.
However, when a company doesn’t repay its debt, it can no longer purchase products. The business relationship broke down.
Sin debt can also damage relationships.
I remember being in third grade and my heart was broken when my best friend said something mean. I hid and cried throughout recess. The relationship never recovered. Little did I know that life would get much more difficult. A few years later, my father’s neglect and my parents’ divorce damaged my family and distorted future adult relationships.
Since then I have suffered more serious assaults. I can’t think of a sin more painful than attacking an innocent person I love. Do I have to forgive? How can I restore the relationship? What if the perpetrator has no regrets? I used to cry and struggle with these questions as I tried to imitate Jesus. In the process, I learned more about what forgiveness is and isn’t.
The first broken relationship
Before Adam and Eve sinned, they enjoyed perfect fellowship with God. They walked and talked with him in a transparent relationship. God revealed Himself to them, and they kept nothing from Him. The Bible says, “The man and his wife were naked, but they were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25 NLT).
When Adam and Eve sinned, their seamless connection with God was torn apart. Fear gripped them because they owed God a debt for their transgressions that they had no way to repay. Just as a person’s financial debt does not disappear after his physical death, Adam and Eve’s spiritual death did not cancel their obligations to God. The debt of sin has been passed down from generation to generation and still tortures people today.
In his infinite mercy, God provided a temporary solution to the growing debt of His people. He accepted animal sacrifices to cover their sins. Later, God sent His son Jesus to be punished so that people would no longer need to sacrifice animals. His death on the cross paid the full penalty for sin for all. If you have believed in Jesus for salvation, then your sin debt has been fully paid.
We must never forget that God the Father paid a heavy price for the sacrifice of His Son. He and Jesus have enjoyed perfect unity since the foundation of the world. They are one with the Holy Spirit. If you are the parent of a hurt child, you know the pain of God the Father as he watches evil men torture and kill His innocent Son.
God’s command
When Jesus lived on earth, He taught us to pray to God for our sins. He instructs us: “Forgive us our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone who is in debt to us. And do not lead us into temptation” (Luke 11:4 NASB).
Jesus shows us a pattern to follow regarding sin. When we disobey God’s commands, we should repent and ask for forgiveness. In response, He washes away sin and restores us into a right relationship with Him. This pattern carries over to our relationships with others. If someone offends us, they should express remorse and ask for our forgiveness. We follow God’s example so that they do not owe us anything (Colossians 3:13).
The burden of unforgiveness
What happens when someone is unable or unwilling to ask for forgiveness? Or maybe they say they’re sorry, but then continue committing the same sin. Peter posed this crucial question to Jesus when he asked, “Lord, how often shall I forgive those who sin against me? Seven times? (Matthew 18:21 NLT). In essence, Peter wanted to know when his duty to forgive ends .
When we ignore or refuse to forgive the sins of others, we become like a debt collection agency. The debt of their sins weighs upon us, and we feel an obligation to make them pay. At first, we may be happy to receive compensation from someone who has wronged us.
However, as time goes by, the task of collecting debt becomes more and more onerous. When the offender fails to live up to our expectations, our hearts become hardened. If we continue in this relationship, resentment may seep in. Over time, bitterness builds up and allows Satan to gain a foothold in our lives. Heavy debt prevents us from obeying God’s command to love our offending neighbor as ourselves.
Jesus answered Peter’s question about how often to forgive: “‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus answered, ‘but seventy times seven!’” (Matthew 18:22 NLT). I can imagine that Peter’s mood must have plummeted when he heard this sentence. impossible!
Seventy times seven is a metaphor meaning there is no limit. Jesus wants us to forgive the coworkers who gossip behind our backs every day. Neighbors bother us with noisy parties. A jealous brother and sister who are always causing trouble. A spouse who breaks their vows. Even people who hurt their loved ones. This high standard of forgiveness is impossible without the help of the Spirit of God.
Forgiveness means letting go of claims against the person who has offended us. Depending on the nature of the crime, a pardon may also include the restoration of broken relationships. When recovery is reasonable and safe, trust must be earned.
While reunification may not be possible or prudent in all circumstances, God always wants us to forgive.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/seb_ra
6 Steps to the Forgiveness Process
Through the power of the Holy Spirit within us, we can give God the control of debt collection and forgive every offense.
1. Meditate on the suffering and death that Jesus endured for the forgiveness of all sin.
Picture yourself standing at the foot of the cross of Jesus. Remember, His blood covers the sins of everyone, including those who hurt you. Ultimately, offense is first and foremost against God. But too often we get caught in the crossfire of sin. Let us not underestimate the value of Jesus’ extreme sacrifice by refusing to apply His shed blood to every sin we suffer at the hands of others.
You can discuss this topic using the following link: https://annieyorty.com/gods-person/the-crossfire-of-sin/
2. Lament with God the offenses you have suffered.
In this necessary step, tell God the full extent of your sin. If the crime is minor, the process can be quick and easy. But life-changing hurt may take a little more time when you talk to God about the tendrils of pain that have spread into every area of your life. Now is not the time for minimizing or making excuses. Be honest and tell him how the other person’s behavior affects your life. If you think of offense as a plant, you want to apply the power of Jesus’ sacrifice not just to the leaves and fruits, but all the way to the deepest roots.
3. In prayer, give Jesus the responsibility to collect the debt of your sins.
As the one who pays the fine, he can choose whether and when to collect the fine from the offender. Thank Jesus for taking this burden of responsibility away from you.
4. Forgive the debts of those who have sinned against you.
In your own words and in the presence of Jesus, follow this pattern:
[Name of person]I choose to forgive and release you [name the offense]. I no longer expect you to repay me in any way. This offense is now between you and God. I trust He will deal with you according to His wisdom, justice, and mercy.
5. Speak to God again and express your desire for God’s best for the person who hurt you.
Jesus said, “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who harm you” (Luke 6:28 NLT). If you have difficulty blessing the offender, ask God to give you the faith to trust and obey Him. He gives you the power to see those who have sinned against you through the eyes of His love and mercy.
6. At the end of your prayer, thank God for His mercy toward you.
Dear Heavenly Father God, I thank you for your tender mercy toward me. Through Jesus, my own sins are forgiven. You also took upon yourself the offense against me so that my life would not be dominated by bitterness and malice. You give me comfort and peace when I come to You. I trust that you will bring justice to my situation at the perfect time, so I will transfer the debt of the convict into your capable hands. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.
live without burden
God’s forgiveness of our sins is always complete and lasting. But there may be times when we need to renew our forgiveness for others. If old feelings resurface, we may feel the weight of unforgiveness again. In these times, we can run to God and regain our inner peace through the steps of forgiveness again.
Whether the offender is sorry or not, this process of forgiveness allows us to exchange the burden of justice for the peace of God. We can trust Him to handle every offense against us.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/evgenyatamanenko
Anne Jordy Write and speak to encourage others to perceive God’s person, presence, provision, and purpose in life’s unexpected twists and turns. She is married to her high school sweetheart and lives in Pennsylvania with a teenager, two adult children (one of whom is intellectually disabled), and a fluffy Labrador retriever. she has written From Ignorance to Bliss: Revealing God’s Heart through Down Syndrome. Contact her at http://annieyorty.com/, Facebook and Instagram.
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